...simplemente no hay palabras...

...y sin embargo...
....no era cuento de hadas. Nunca me engañó con falsas promesas de un final feliz. Fue lo suficientemente cruel para leérme la historia después del "The End". Los personajes no fueron felices para siempre (tuvieron peleas y no siempre fue fácil pagar la renta a fin de mes)...
...érase una vez, osea que había un día, en que fuimos dos Pesimistas No-ortodoxos en el mundo... ahora solo quedo yo...

Sigo creyendo que es alguna broma de mal gusto, sigo esperando a que José Miguel aparezca y me salude cada que doblo una esquina. Miguel es más que un gran músico, más que mi amigo, más que quien le pone los puntos a mis ies, más que mi Emocionalista, más que mi gurú espiritual o mi diablo guardián, más que mi lugar en el mundo... una parte de mi... algo de mi ha muerto...

He pasado estos días caminando por la ciudad. Por los lugares donde nos veíamos, por los sitios que frecuentaba. "En esta esquina no apareció, pero tal vez en la siguiente calle". Sé que no lo veré más, y, sin embargo, sigo lastimando mis pies cansados. Sigo adelante no sólo porque no quiero romper a llorar, si no porque no hay otra dirección. Sigo adelante porque él nunca se detuvo...
...siempre juntos hasta el final...
...por tu ciudad ambarosa sigo caminando...

"Seguimos corriendo

A prisa. Derrumbando el viento.
Olvidando los días lluviosos
¿Seguimos llorando verdad?

José Amenti Favela."

...i have no words to express my sorrow...

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He is Dead.
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now; put out every one,
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun,
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the woods;
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

the blurry tempest

I'm walking in the rain
行くあてもなく　傷ついた身体濡らし
絡みつく凍りのざわめき

殺しつづけて　彷徨う　いつまでも
Until I can forget your love...Endless rain, fall in my heart 心の傷に

Let me forget all of the hate, all of the sadness...

Against the Zombies

I'm currently into reading Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. At first I thought it an intersting idea, but the zombies are too forced into the story, although that hadn't really bothered me until this Elizabeth who is supposed to be a cold-blooded killer trained on Shaolin's arts be so distressed about her sister running away with Wickham till the point of breaking into tears. I mean WTF?!!! When I read that I couldn't help myself but to agree with Lady Catherine, she lacks proper instruction in the deadly arts with knowning only that clumsy kung fu, she should've gone to Japan for real training.
And not being this sufficient to the inaccuracy of the supposed character of this "warrior-like" Elizabeth with her acctions, later on we have the mention that the sisters cannot go after wicked Wickham's head because "my sisters and I cannot spend any substantial time searching for Wickham, as we are each commanded by His Majesty to defend Hertfodshire from all enemies until such time as we are dead, rendered lame, or married", this said by the sister that had already spent about a month or more traveling for pleasure with her uncles, after the elder sister returned from spending a month on London just for distraction and the "kidnaped" one was having fun by her own with some acquaintances; I mean all of them could just leave their home and responsabilities of protection of the same for pleasure but not to go after vengance for such an offence as dishonoring her sister? WTF???!!! That's the worst excuse ever!
Oh! I almost forgot, what's that about Darcy firmly believing that Jane had the plague and becuase of that he opposed to her union with Bingley but didn't notice that Charlotte was three-quaters dead? How's possible that no one of the warriors there noticed it but Elizabeth?
I've lost many hours of my life on this stupid book and I seriously seriously feel like sueing someone....

...and if you can't pacify me
I will break your bones
You think I'm bluffing, just try me...
...you'll suffer for this. I swear...

Nature Conquest

"...From the concrete who knew that a flower would grow?..."

...as the bruises turn to yellow...

It took me almost 3 years, 5 tries, 15 doramas, and a broken foot, but I finally finished knitting my sweater, the first and the last I'd ever make. First it was way too big, then it was too short, now I don't know, but I won't remake it! The thing is that after I finished it, I have too much remaining yarn, so i kept on knitting a pattern from here (well, it's not exactly the same 'cos i only used 2 neddles -and then i got "creative")

...without needing me

...if you ever feel like missing me just remember all the boring times we spent together and you'll realize you wasted your time once again...

Pure Morning

Sometimes I need someone to hold my head getting my hair carefully and tell me "you're not alone", but then another regurgitation impels me to give up such stupid thoughts and expel what was left of my dinner while slowly dawns.

Solar Return

Don't call it a come back, call it a rebirth!

화분 (Flowerpot)

I used to have some plants but they were dying on my dark gloomy room so I had to send them as politic refugees to a friend's house where they now live and grow happily, so much that now they need a bigger flowerpot... y esto de las compras nomás no se me da... I went to many places but couldn't find a flowerpot that I'd like, so, at the end, after hours and hours of walking and thousands of flowerpots I bought one really simple that I would've been able to buy since the first moment :S

The Way You Make Me Feel

I'd been thiking lately that it's been a looooooong while since the last I went to a symphony orchestra recital, and i'd been wanting to go to one for a couple of years now, I wanted it more since I watched Beethoven Virus, but i had had not the opportunity... until today.
Just yesterday I was wasting my time online and saw "Michael Jackson blablabla whatever", as usual I wanted to know what they were saying now of my dear and beloved St Michael Jackson, and it was about a concert by Ofunam playing hits of the 70's and 80's, and my St Michael Jackson was included on the programm, that was going to be held today at el Auditorio Nacional; the ticket prices were sort of accessible for a penniless person as me, so I thought "what the hell? nobody has died for skiping meals 2 days -'cause my current financial situation implies eating or living/enjoying- , i'm sure many anorexics would back up me", and I went.
I bought a ticket for the last chair just behind the last lamp -the cheapest one- and obviously was gonna see nothing, but it was a symphony orchestra so there's nothing there to really see -in my humble opinion- just to hear; nevertheless, and to my great delight, many seats remained unsold, so it was decided that, in order to not having so much spaces between seats, the number of tickets would mind that much, so they placed me in a seat that normally would've cost at least trice the price I paid.
It was great and I really enjoyed it, but my strong conviction remains: the only one who can correctly interpret Michael Jackson is St Michael Jackson.

a simple fact

Un lunes siempre sigue a un domingo, como la desilusión a la admiración. Siempre. Inevitablemente

"...Tuve la impresión de formar parte de una novela mal escrita. Y de que alguien me acusaba diciendo: "No eres verosímil". Quizá fuera verdad."

Haruki Murakami. Crónica del pájaro que da cuerda al mundo.

Creo ke ya antes lo he mencionado: si hay alguien ke escribe los destinos el mío lo escribe Alejo Carpentier. Y la verdá es ke siempre he creído ke es un pésimo escritor...

Lamentful Miss

Another accurate moment in life:

"Well, I think there has to be something like reincarnation. Or maybe I should say I'm scared to think there isn't. I can't understand nothingness. I can't undertand it and I can't imagine it."
"Nothingness means there's absolutely nothing, so maybe there's no need to understand or imagine it."
"Yeah, but what if nothingness is ot like that? What if it's the kind of thing that demands that you undertand or imagine it? I mean, you don't what it's like to die, Mari. Maybe a person really has to die to understand what it's like."

Haruki Murakami. After Dark.

When music comes on right timing to (give some atmospher to) your reading

Currently reading:

"Irony means taking an objetive or inverted view of oneself or of something beloging to oneself and discovering oddness in that"

Haruki Murakami. After Dark.

While listening:


Reading:

"It's not a question of what I think. It's part of being nineteen years old. I used to be nineteen myself once. I know what it's like"

Haruki Murakami. After Dark.

On a Friday

I wanted to watch the movie Ninja Assessin only because 비 (Rain) appears there. First of all it was not easy to find, it was only on 2 theaters and I didn't even know where one of them is; anyway, I went to Palacio Chino, which is that cinema where Bruce Wayne's parents where murdered, seriously, I have the strong believed that it was that place or a quite similar one where that happened.
I'd gone to one cinema early to found that I had to go to the other one, when I arrived to the second place it was around 2 p.m. and the movie started at 6, but ,'cause of the location of the place, it had no sense to go home and come back, so I decided to do some exploring, the results: I bough 4 books I wasn't looking for and I definetely not needed and which I had no money for (so, once again, I'm peniless and heartbroken) and I confirmed that Kundera is looking for me ('cause every place I went to the first book I found was by him), but I'll keep my resistence!! (that means I won't read him) and I found like ten thousand books I want to read now.
When I got tired of so much walking fooling around I sat at a bench on the avenue to watch a march against the goverment. While I was there I thought "so, this is why my friends say I'm weird, 'cause I'm the only fool watching a march passing by on a Friday evening..."
At the end it was like watching a movie by Los Almada but Hollywood-like with a little bit more of budget, the best of the movie was Rain (비) and he didn't look so cool, he's better dancing and singing (and making up new english words n_n).

Amnesiac

I'm a daydreamer. I've realized I spend almost 75% of my awake time fantasizing stupid things as some star I happen to like in that moment falls in love with me and we have a great romance; I make up really great soap operas; seriously, you wouldn't believe all the stupid things that happen in my mind... well, perhaps you do... Today, a daydream assaulted me: how would it be like if I had an accident on another country which language I don't speak and I lose my memory? (on the fantasy there were some hot asian people involved, but that was one of the main points on the fantasy that can be let aside for a moment). Later I started to wonder if I'd be able to track me back, I mean if I google myself I would find my blog and other online things but, just as an example, with the info I'd left of me would I be able to figure out my own password for the email?

Black Star

I had a black t-shirt indian-like that seemed to be of bad luck. Today I wore it and something not nice happened at work; so I started to think about the last time I wore it and something bad happened, also the time before that time, so I kept remembering and all the times I could recall something bad happened. To say I'm a superstitious person would be lying, but to say I'm not a superstituos person would be lying too; so let's say that just in case when I arrived home I took it off and trashed it out.
But now I'm even more worried because when an evil desappears something even worse takes its place...

Again & Again

I went with another friend to eat Korean food, and now I really believe I could live there 'cause I definetely like the food.

Talk to Me

"...During the second week of term, she bought a used bicycle and road around tacking up posterd that said WANTED: HEBREW TUTOR, because languages came easily to her, and she wanted to be able to understand my father. A few people applied, but only one didn't back out when my mother explained that she couldn't pay, a pimply boy named Nahemia from Haifa who was on his first year and as miserable as my mother, and who felt -according to a letter she wrote to my father- the company of a girl was reason enough to agree to meet twice a week at the King's Arms for nothing more than the price of his beer..."

Nicole Krauss. The History of Love.

And It rained all night...

...and then all day...
It started to rain yesterday around 9 p.m. and by 4 in the morning when I finally went to sleep it still was raining. And originally I was only to write down my "haiku":

It is a beautiful cloudy day
with partial intermittent rain
and I'm alone again

but the ending it's sort of melancholic and I have an "energetic" feeling today, but I don't know how to end it "energetically". On the other hand, I'm kind of sad because of the last dorama I saw, but I'll talk about it later.